8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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