Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
