Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
