someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Bring me that man meat
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
