Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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