I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
