i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
