Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
