Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
