check it out our google latitudes are spooning
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So squirting runs in the family.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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