Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize