the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
