He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He did a backflip because drugs
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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