i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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