That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
