My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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