We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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