And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
