im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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