Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
