I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
