I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
