4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i think my cat just said my name.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
