the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need a beard to bite.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize