Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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