it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
