How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
