Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
