Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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