I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
