you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
