I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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