would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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