I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
