How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
