i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
