so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
