did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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