He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
