I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
