What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
