I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
