also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
vagina is talking i cant
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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