I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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