its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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