4 words: hood of his car
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
