This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
