her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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