You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
