Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
