I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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