She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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