so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
